Post-Christmas exhaustion.

I was off my meds today, since yesterday. I just ran out. Nothing too bad or emotional, but I tried really hard, because it’s Christmas, and that’s what you do on Christmas.

It was a mellow Christmas, cos my cousins and aunts and uncles weren’t over till midnight. Mom made the effort to cook even though we were all tired, so I stayed up to keep her company. My mom loves Christmas in her own way, and though I don’t appreciate it as much, I’ll play along for her. I don’t think I’d like to be a family that doesn’t celebrate it at all anyway.

In the morning, we had to wait three hours for my aunt, grandma, and cousin to pick us up, so we missed going to grandpa’s grave. We went straight to my uncle’s new house, which is still unfinished but already pretty great, where the old rocking chair is set so it was like grandpa was there, too. It was very nice. We had a late lunch, and it was simple and wonderful and I was happy. So it was like I wasn’t off my meds. I got quite breathless, though, so that wasn’t good.

I thought we’d get to rest some today, which I know my mom was looking forward to, especially since she goes back to work tomorrow, and she works very hard. But my brother, my sweet and naïve brother, had to meet his girlfriend for the first time. Ah, technology.

It was a failure, but a good day anyway. And he really tried his best. Normally when we go out, he’s a poor, miserable boy in a span of ten minutes. But today, he was pretty cooperative and I appreciated that. I was in and out today because my eyes were being funky, and my heart was being tired. Still, it was a day with the family, and I am grateful.

It wasn’t/isn’t the Christmas that most people celebrate, I’m afraid. Or is it “some”? Plenty of families, especially refugees, homeless, and impoverished families, spend it in an unconventional way that isn’t broadcast in media or social media. There’s a storm right now here in PH, and some regions have no electricity. They had to evacuate them, so they had to spend Christmas in a dank public place. I can only hope they were all well, warm, and fed at least.

Puts a damper in your Christmas spirit, I know, but it makes you thankful for the small blessings you have and get. As for me, it’s usually in the small things I find happiness. And it’s always useful to remember them in no-meds days. Stay grounded and humble. Merry Christmas everyone.

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