Dear me, can you please stop being awkward as fuck and embarrassing yourself. I’d appreciate it. Thanks. (Nevermind this, I just did something stupid. I had to stare at Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s pictures to distract myself from my shame.)
Have I complained about people complaining about millennials before? I can’t even spell it right most of the time. I always write millenial. Oh well, here goes. As a millennial, life is tough.
I have a job interview scheduled for tomorrow. It might be interesting, but I also don’t wanna get my hopes up. Crossing my fingers, though.
It’s been tough looking for jobs, and just sending out resumés, waiting for them to contact you. Sometimes I wouldn’t send a resumé at all cos they’re located in the business districts, far and expensive. Don’t get me wrong, I want to apply, but it would be impractical. There are scenarios in my head where I move out and get an apartment in those cities, and it would be an adventure! But realistically, I wouldn’t be able to afford it, it wouldn’t be very safe, and I would miss my pets too much. Unlike most countries where you’re expected to move out when you turn 18, in the Philippines, you have to be rich and rich to be able to do that. Unfortunately, hardly any of us are rich, let alone rich and rich. It was already a miracle I got to stay in a great dorm for like four months, but moving out? Pipe dream. I’m hoping to get a job, and maybe later when Sylvester graduates, gets a job, and we both are in a stable position, we can get a place together. Another pipe dream, of course, but what are dreams for? Anyway, Filipino families hardly like getting separated, let alone making their kids move out. So that’s not the problem.
It’s so hard trying to figure out which things to prioritize. Say, when I finally get a good job, what should I save up for first: a car, a house? Do I help pay for my brother’s tuition, or just save up in general? Should I start a business, so that my mom can “retire” and she and dad can just manage it safely tucked away? But we’re not really business oriented. So many questions, and not enough resources to even try figuring them out. I can only accomplish so much on my own without the assistance of money. And as much as I believe money isn’t everything, it’s still a lot of things. Above all, a pain in the ass.
I am in such a hurry to get my life started, but I’m slowly but surely running out of time just waiting for it to happen. Everyone around me is living in such a fast pace, I don’t know if they’re living their lives or their lives are living them. Is that where I’ll end up once I get a job? How terrifying. But I have to try anyway. Because despite old people griping about millennials being whiny babies, we’re the ones that have to deal with the world they made, and try to make it ours.
PS: I wrote this under vertigo and shame, please be impressed.