Dyspnea.

On a writing grind right now, and there’s nothing better (insert winky face emoji here) And since I’ve been sporadically posting for the last few weeks, I thought I’d pop-up on a Sunday post. So here we go!

(from http://perfumevevo.tumblr.com/post/115006071640 // credits to the creator)

I cut Saturday some slack, because it doesn’t have a very good track record. Like, 8 out of 10 Saturdays suck. So you know what they say, set yourself up for disappointment and you won’t get disappointed. Expect the expected. Etcetera etcetera. I don’t even wanna talk about how yesterday went because then I’ll have to think about it, and if I think about it, I’ll get surly and sad, and if you haven’t noticed, the point of this blog is to briefly talk about it, and come up with a way to conquer it. Yep… got a long way to go.

Every few days or so, I get an itch to get out of the house. But, for those of you that don’t know the Philippines well or at all, there’s really nowhere to go that doesn’t entail spending at least Php 100. I can’t afford to go out on my own, and my parents are the laziest bums ever, in that they don’t like going anywhere. I suppose with all the shit they prefer to do at home, and also the fact that they also can’t afford it, we’re all inherently bums. #FamBum. (Ugh, I hate that tag so much, I wanna throw it off a cliff and feed it to the Kraken.)

Something entirely infuriating that motivated this post is smoking, cigarettes in particular. I don’t know whether to thank my parents for not smoking around us when my brother and I were kids, and that’s probably why the very thought is abhorrent to us. But also, they smoke regularly now. Yay…?

I would say I have nothing against smoking, but omfg, it is harmful to you, your wallet, your neighbor, absolute strangers, your pets, the environment, and pos-fucking-terity. Statistically speaking, people smoke cigarettes a lot less than they did 50 years ago. (They smoke something else now, that is actually not as harmful as cigarettes and that is scientifically proven, okay? Also, don’t do drugs lol) But 10 years ago, the only people that smoked in my general proximity was my uncle and my grandfather. They weren’t around as much as my parents are, and I could tolerate it to the barest extent. But I guess having been diagnosed with a heart problem and mild tuberculosis in the last few months just warrants more smoking from people that claim to love and cherish you. Hurray.

And the last few weeks, I’ve noticed that I’ve woken up at 7 am to the smell of cigarettes outside my window. Hahahahaha if there was ever anything so bad for your health as inhaling secondhand smoke at the start of the day, it might just be firsthand smoking at the start of the day. #DGAF I guess. But as I’m writing this now, it’s 10:33 am, and my lungs and heart are already so tired from breathing. I just needed to let out somewhere.

Difficulty breathing, and if I even tell them about it, they’ll just say it’s stress. But definitely not from their disgusting habit. So whatever.

For all intents and purposes, the point is not to badmouth smoking. Smoke all you want, just make sure I’m not within 50 meters/160 or so feet of your area. Keep in mind, though, that there’s about 100 million other habits and hobbies you could occupy yourself with, and most probably are more constructive than stupid smoking. A healthier alternative, for example, would be working out. I don’t know how that is ever a bad idea for anyone.

I wonder if parents behaving badly is enough reason to stay out till late tonight and scamper around with Sylvester. I honestly just wanna get away from the stench and the four bland walls of this old-ass house. And the same damn playlist my dad plays everyday. Also, we haven’t had good coffee all week, I’m dying.

Talk about first world problems, huh? Happy Sunday.


dyspnea [disp-neeuh]

noun, Pathology.

1. difficult or labored breathing.

I update every Monday-Wednesday-Friday-(and sometimes)Sunday night! I’m always present on social media, @thcynicalnerd on Instagram and Tumblr, @nerdTHEcynical on Twitter and Snapchat 🙂

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