Antonym for cease; descend; recede.

I made my family disappear.

I’m home alone for the first time in a while, and it’s nice to have the silence for company. I do have to answer the door at least once today, for sure, but other than that I’m free to pretend that nobody’s home.

The movie of my childhood…(from // credits to the creator)

Finally (!) got a bike and started learning again! So that was the better part of my weekend. My shoulders, my hands, and my butt hurt from it, but no pain no gain, I guess. Got to spend some time in the old compound where my mom used to work, which still smelled the same. Everything was somehow bigger, though. I just did lots of laps there, and I wish I could just do that all day today as well. Unfortunately, I’m at home, and I dislike going outside and seeing people, so there’s that. Last night, I had an inkling to go out and bike anyway, since it was dark and nobody was gonna be outside, probably. But then I saw that it was almost 10 pm, and that would have been unsafe.

Before the weekend, I got to hang out with Sylvester and brush up on math. If I haven’t mentioned it before, I would like to proclaim loud and clear that I don’t like math. It’s not that I’m not good at it, I’m a little below average, but mostly because I spend a lot of time arguing with anything to do with it. There’s too many rules, and too much stuff to memorize, which are all mostly arbitrary, and I want nothing to do with it. But alas, I still have to be able to pass the math part of my exam in the near future, so I’ll have to grin and bear it.

I have also finished DA: I’s main game! I’ll slowly but surely go through the DLCs, but still an accomplishment. Now I wonder since I have the house to myself, should I finish Rise of the Tomb Raider instead? It might get loud, though, and I can’t pretend nobody’s home that way. Oh well.

One of the great things about riding a bike is that one isn’t on their phone, neither are they on toxic af social media, which can also be said about playing DA: I or Rise of the Tomb Raider, but I tend to go on my phone during loading screens and that isn’t very helpful. And I have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’ve been disgustingly unproductive, just trying to drag me down from my peaceful place. It’s what prompted this blog post, actually. I just have to keep in mind that I have done productive things, especially last week, and there’s nothing wrong with it. My brain’s just being funky again, that’s it.

All things considered, things are going well. I still have bouts here and there but that’s to be expected of someone off her meds, and is constantly exposed to all the shittiness the world has to offer. Moving around helps a lot to distract me, though, and I might just have to practice math again this week. It would still be better that society’s drama. That’s probably the idea philosophers and mathematicians had when they were making all of their arbitrary concepts. They had their shit figured out, that’s for sure.

Happy (unscheduled) Tuesday!

I [try to] update every Monday-Wednesday-Friday-(and sometimes)Sunday night! I’m always present on social media, @thecynicalnerd on Instagram and Tumblr, @nerdTHEcynical on Twitter and Snapchat 🙂


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