As easy as breathing.

For some reason, while I know I was quite productive today, having given the girls baths and accomplishing my Spanish homework, I can’t remember what it was I actually did today. I played a bit of DA: I, but that can’t have taken a third of my day, right? Maybe it did, because I can’t remember having done anything else. I do remember feeling so sleepy, I thought I was going to puke, which isn’t a sensation that people normally feel, I don’t think. It feels as if I’m on a downward slope after my bleeds, and it’s odd all around.

(from http://thegoldeneternity.tumblr.com/post/164564949608/here-you-are-is-a-collection-of-original // credits to Kathryn Solie of PersephoneCollective shop on Etsy, where you can purchase her book, Here You Are)

One thing I’ve been trying to consistently do is avoid Facebook, which I’ve mentioned before. It’s not possible to do so completely, but for the most part, all I do is check notifications, and that’s about it. I don’t even like using Facebook messenger, but sadly, since most everyone is on it, and it’s too tedious to have to make another messenger account just so I can avoid the crappy app, I try to maintain the bare minimum.

Since I’m a person that sucks at keeping dates and time (the irony of the history major, really), I don’t know exactly when I started doing this, but it’s definitely been at least three months. Of course, there are days when I get sucked into the black hole that is the comments section at times, but I realize what I’m doing in the nick of time and just exit the app altogether. Unfortunately, I don’t always stop myself soon enough and get slightly triggered (the legitimate trigger, not the millennial, insensitive, ignorant use of the term). Something similar to it is when I pay too much attention to the news, which is almost always terrible. Because of this, I’ve tried to queue some good news posts on my tumblr, knowing that they do indeed exist, they just don’t get as much coverage, which is sad, but not helpless.

This morning, it was tough to get out of bed, but I’d been wanting to finish my errands, and also start the week on a productive note, so I pushed myself to get up. It might not be much for most anyone, but it takes a lot of effort for me to stop thinking and just start doing. Maybe one of these days, getting up will be as easy as breathing. But considering my heart problems, even that is hard to do sometimes, so maybe not the best example in this scenario.

I believe there’s a beauty in humanity’s attempts to make the world a better place. It’s never futile, and always worth it. It’s inevitable that people do bad things, and that bad things happen to people. It’s what one does with the hand that they’re dealt that matters. And goodness, this is challenging to remember during the worst days, but they’re thankfully just days. There will always be more not-bad days, and that’s the best we can ask for.

The next few days, and probably the weeks after this, will be a bit hectic, and I might have a hard time getting up in the morning, to actually try to be a functioning member of society. You can do this, me. Take it one step at a time and remember to breathe.

I did also want to set a few more milestones for me to meet, just cause I’ve been doing well in following those that I set by writing them down in this blog, so aside from learning how to drive and continuing my Spanish studies in the next few months, I want to add more creative pieces like the poem I posted three months ago, and gradually make all the featured images for each blog post. Granted, I do like featuring ones that I didn’t make, just to share the great ones that I encounter and that do tend to inspire me, and hopefully help their creators cover more ground and get the attention they deserve. I have to write about 35 pieces before this blog reaches 100 posts, so I want to prepare something for that as well. Stay tuned 😉


I [try to] update every Monday-Wednesday-Friday-Sunday night! I’m always present on social media, @thecynicalnerd on Instagram and Tumblr, @nerdTHEcynical on Twitter and Snapchat 🙂

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